Mojave Lords – Unfuckwithable [The Blind Review]

Amidst the stigmatism and fellatio of the nuts-and-bolts metal review, our bearded renegade Mike Orvis sets about to review releases based solely on the music. With only the track names and his ears to go on, Mike gives you Metal Recusants’ THE BLIND REVIEW.

Pubs are great. They are boozy, hard wood-floored houses of strange odours, populated by men, drinking from stout glasses and some sort of taxidermy. The best thing about those pubs is a little chalk board outside that lets you know that on “Sat NITE” a band among the likes of “JUICEE RIVERS” , “ BLOOD, SWEAT n’ FEARS” or “CATMANDU” would be playing from around 7-10. You add this to the slightly gone off Guinness and you’ve got some of the best moments from a young metalhead’s life. It was loud, the drummers always looked weird, and you left feeling like you were made of leather. With that in mind, pop Mojave Lords new release into your boombox and get ready to bang yer ‘ed.

From the beginning of “Sweet Little Down and Out”, with its barbershop intro and Sabbath tone, we are given a glimpse into the riff-driven, Josh Homme/ Rob Zombie  pub rock band that aren’t taking any prisoners. The tracks chug along with the regularity of a steam engine, with particular nods going to “Hot Throwaway”, which is also host to vocals which are either double-tracked or close harmonied, I can’t work it out.

Unfuckwithable is one of a rare group of albums that actually gets better the more you progress through it. The second half is incredibly strong, with the mighty riffs of “Microwave Me Baby” and relentless attitude making it bar far the best track on the album.  The slow, sexy groove to “A Whole New World” make it a close second; it’s the “Kashmir” of the album, exactly the right amount of dissonance, Monster Magnet vocals, and thumpy bass.

The tracks do peter off a little around the midsection of the album, and the raw production means the pingy snare drum can be a little distracting. In addition to the songs initially coming across as samey. The biggest offender here is “Anytime Rock” beginning very shakily and containing rather unoriginal lyrical content. Another dishonourable mention goes to the unfinished sound of “Knuckles”, where our singer sounds, quite frankly, bored.

Mojave Lords wear their influences on their sleeves. “Dancefloor Slammer” could have easily come from Queens Of The Stone Age’s “Like Clockwork” and sounds like the soundtrack to an adult Scooby Doo, while “Second Skin” is a parallel universe version of Thin Lizzy’s “Jailbreak” with a euphoric chorus and sense of fun that’s kept throughout the album. “ Sage” is a Buick on a desert road that just dosen’t let up before the final, and brilliantly titled “Unfuckwithable” closes proceedings appropriately.

This is a release for anyone that’s drank warm beer, for anyone that’s danced on the bar, had a fight outside, or called someone a “cunt”. Shaky tracks aside, as a whole Unfuckwithable is definitely something worth adding to your vinyl collection.

The Reveal

Well… that album artwork leaves a little bit to be desired, but I’m sure 15 year old me would want it as a tattoo. That aside, the band seem nice from their pictures, and I’m sure they fancy a drink or two. Lads, if you’re ever in Kent, let me know, and we’ll grab a pint!


Track list:
01 Sweet Little Down & Out
02 Hot Throwaway
03 Anytime Rock
04 Dancefloor Slammer
05 Second Skin
06 Knuckles
07 Microwave Me Baby
08 A Whole New World
09 Sage
10 Unfuckwithable

Mojave Lords are:
David Catching – Guitars, Bass, Synth
Kevin Bingo Richey – Vocals, Guitars, Bass, Synth

Mojave Lords

More Mojave Lords:
Official Website

About Mike (6 Articles)
When Mike isn’t being a total nerd over at, angrily ranting on a podcast, or taking part in his 537 drumming side projects, he is desperately trying to decode the universe simply by being mad at it. He also enjoys a pepperoni pizza, Batman comics, Vinyl, and anything Mike Portnoy is up to that week. He is also of the opinion that the solo on “Cleaver Of Souls” by Skeletonwitch is the best metal solo ever. Feel free to try and prove him wrong.

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